Borrowed Jokes

School teacher asks What is common between Buddha, Jesus, Mahavir and Guru Nanak Dev Ji?

Student: All of them were born on Indian centre government holidays!



2.Sardar Ji: Why have you increased speed of car?

Laloo: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.



3. Laloo's Son: Dad, how much does it cost to get married.

Funny Laloo: I never calculated, I am still paying for it.



4.. A funny accountant visits a museum with a Sardar Ji.

Accountant: This painting is 500 years and 20 days old.

Sardar: Amazing! Where did you get this exact information?

Accountant: I was here 20 days ago. The guide told me that the painting was 500 years old.



5. Santa: Why do you close your eyes while playing the piano?

Banta: I can't see the agony of the audience.



6. Teacher to Student: Kid, your essay on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him?

Student: No, teacher, it's about the same dog!



7.Husband: If I die will you remarry me?

Wife: No I will stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry me?

Husband: No I will also stay with your sister.



8. Lalu and his wife were angry with each other and were not talking to each other.

Lalu left a note on Rabri’s bedside table that said “Dear wife, awake me at 5 am tomorrow.

Next morning Lalu awoke at 8 a.m and saw a note on his bedside table: Dear Husband it is 5 O’clock get up.



9. Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.

Banta: Is this dog faithful?

Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, every time it returned back to me.



10. Funny Sharma was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote: YES



11.A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.

Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday.

Sardar Doctor asked: WHY??

Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!



12. Girlfriend to Boyfriend: Now it is time we should marry

Boyfriend: That's ok, but who will marry us